So unless you have been in your own little bubble for the past 2 years, you have at least heard of the Twilight phenomenal. If you haven’t seen the movies, read the books, or joined a discussion group with many of the Twilighters this article will not make sense to you…so I will give you a little background:
In Twilight: Bella falls in love with Edward. Edward loves Bella as well, but there is a piece of him that he has to hold back from her, because she doesn’t totally fit into his world.
In New Moon: Edward leaves Bella because he realizes that she will always be in danger while he is with her, and thinks that if he leaves he is protecting her from settling for a life that is less than he believes she deserves. Bella is devastated and Jacob is there to fill in the hole left by Edward. Jacob heals her and they become really close, but it’s not enough for Bella to be with Jacob, because she has had the love of Edward. Edward comes back, and she has to put her friendship with Jacob into perspective.
In Eclipse: Bella is faced with a choice and realizes that she loves Jacob, but it’s still not enough to pull her away from what she has with Edward.
Now, that seems like a twisted high-school love triangle, and it is. But I want to take it a bit deeper. Many people fault Bella because it is assumed that she led Jacob on, but I don’t believe that is the full story. Bella knows what it’s like to be loved so unequivocally and to give that in return. She has had her Edward, and anyone else will fail in comparison to what she has with him. Their relationship was based on something more than just affection or attraction, because the simple fact that they were together, defied their very natural instincts-literally hunter falling in love with the prey and prey willing giving herself over to be hunted.
Now when Edward left, even though his intentions were right, he had to realize that Bella could have moved on. And that’s a risk that he had to take, because he believed that he was doing what was best for her, even though it was the hardest thing for him to do. So here comes Jacob. And Jacob is amazing. He’s kind and caring and patient and understanding (and not too hard on the eyes either). He doesn’t push or rush, he just lets things happen. He is there to protect her and put her back together. And Bella lets him. So I believe it was inevitable that Bella would fall for Jacob on some level, because it’s hard to have that intimate of a relationship with someone and not begin to feel something for them.
The climax of this story, I believe is when Edward comes back, and then Bella realizes that she IS in love with Jacob too. What a doosie! She has a choice to make but in her mind, there never was a choice. Yes she could be happy with Jacob and Jacob would love her unconditionally, even knowing that he would never completely have her, because part of her would always yearn for Edward. But Edward is her air. She could exist with Jacob, but would never really LIVE apart from Edward.
This is the point of this long narrative: I think we all have Jacobs. We have someone that loves us and is willing to lay down everything and do anything to fulfill everything that we need romantically, but for some reason it’s not enough. In some cases, you haven’t even met Edward, but the idea of what you could have with Edward, holds you back from just being content with Jacob, because you will always wonder if there is something greater out there. If you had just held on a little while longer, your Edward would have arrived. But then the sneaking doubt comes in-
What if Edward never comes? Or you couldn’t wait any longer and when he does come you have already chosen to ‘settle down’ with Jacob?
Could Jacob love you enough for the both of you? Could it work if he was completely devoted to you, but you were just content with him?
What if Jacob was really YOUR Edward, but because he knew that he could never fully have you, he never stepped up to those inward Edward qualities that he always possessed?
What if all Jacob needed was for you to love him completely, to become Edward?
And then what happens if you choose Jacob and because he realizes that while you are his trophy, he is only your consolation prize- so he goes in search of his Renesmee? (for those that don’t know this is who Jacob falls in love ‘imprints’ with).
Then where does that leave you?
I believe that Jacob can only be Jacob, Edward can only be Edward, and Bella will always be Bella.
The lure of what I could have with Edward is enough to hold me back, from settling for Jacob. Not that choosing Jacob wouldn’t make me happy, but I would miss out on my Edward, my air, my reason for loving, my other whole that makes me whole. Sometimes I do worry that Edward won’t come and Jacob will wise up and go to find someone to love him the way he loves me, but that’s a chance I will have to take. Because honestly- just the dream of Edward is more than the reality of Jacob.
2 footnotes:
- Bella and Jacob and Edward are not meant to be male or female here. They represent the ideas of who they are. So a male can most definitely be in the situation of Bella and vice versa.
- Please don’t turn this into a ‘what God has for me is for me’ discussion. Please just accept it for what it is- an analogy of a movie that I love, that happens to hold a deeper truth for me.
Comments are welcome! Thanks for reading it.
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